What kind of gf you want ??
2 and 1/2 years of hoping to be with you ... 3 months and 1 week together with you and 6 months in long distance relationship , happy giving kisses through the phone...so now is gonna end easily ??
I still remember is was on 3 Oct 2009, i got answer back from you .. through Google Talk because that time you was in Singapore...that night i was damn happy till i cant sleep and looking at our chat history and reading it again and again ... you reached back to YGN on 6 Oct... since from that day i keep on calling you and talk with you starting from 11 pm till 3/4 in the morning ... sometime i didn't even sleep and straight away go to my class.... well of course sleep in the class !!!! but "sometime" only ..days passed by and reached to 28 Oct, the state show night ... you were living in my chest happily.. First time kissing your cheek on that day... =) "very happy" Month turned to November...First time you called me to come to your Mom office around 4 pm ... i did come and see you almost every day...Ground floor of your mom office building, the bakery,the place where we used to sit and talk till you go back .. i guess our images still there ...Days passed by happy being together...it was on Sat day, 19 Nov around 2 am.. was talking on the phone with you and i said " What kind of flower you like ?? " you answered " orchid, purple color " as soon as you told me that you want that flower i just simply plucked from my Grand mom orchid garden and come and i give you ... "First time driving in my life alone around 2 in the morning" take alot of risk seeking out from my hourse .. " push my car out of the compound if start grand parents wil notice and cant make it to come to you " and tomorrow morning you said thanks to me cuz you saw the flower in your mail box ... =) still hanging out with you every evening at your mom office building... since your mom office is top floor of the shopping center...days and night keep on changing but for us till everything same.. still talking on the ph every night and my kisses still landing on your cheek.. Come to my sweet 16 birthday party...i invited you to come my birthday party at my house... you did come for me... =) so i let you met with all my cousins, aunties and uncles even with my grand parents.. they all said you look better compare my first gf.. =D around 7 30 pm, you give me a wallet that i using rite now as my birthday present with you pictures in it .. and the very first kiss in my life .....starting from 25 Dec our Medical school started to open and you busy with your studies and i also busy with my scholarship interview and test ...So we didn't get chance to talk on the ph and meet outside like we used to be .... and turned to 30 Dec ... last day in my country ...we didn't sleep and talk on the line till 2 am .. and around 2 am i finished writing a letter for you so i came to your house and gave you a letter and 8 real red rose with 1 fake red rose ... i still remember what i said to you " I will love you till the last rose die" and you give me a letter back with teddy bear key chain and hugged me from my back... I can feel you tears coming down.... I try my best not to let go of my tears turned around to you and kissed you ... after kissing i went back to my house ... on the way back my tears started to fall non stop till reached home ...and my grand mom come and comforted me....but yesterday .. 24 July ... where all those tears, rose, orchid, kisses gone ??
I the one who thinking so much and hoping so much ... actually you not "Showing sign at all .. just my.." hmm... but but ... words dun come out .. wana show you never look at also ... always looking away while talking .. lol ... =) well.. i guess we cant be more than fd .. =( our fate is meant to be like this i guess .. but hope i can change it also ..but bro say .. I can but I don't dare .. afraid that i cant make it .... hmmm.. =( IF I SAY IT OUT LOUD WILL YOU ??
Meeting from 8 to 12 ... tired ... I was hoping to "see you" but .. you don't come .. but the "other one" who i don't expect come ... from 8 to 12 suffering from hunger .. and don't get chance to eat also...finished meet .. glad i saw my bro .. and make me kinda happy .. ^ ^ thanks to that buddy .. =) but hmm... still incomplete .. =(
Well actually making friend to become your "girlfriend/boyfriend" is like gambling...become "couple" or "lose friendship"....Yeah!!! some people take risk and they go for it and they get it while other losing everything what the got... Some people think that the one they "love", their friend is showing sign that they also "into" them but actually they do not .. they go for it and they lose what they had... but some really do "show" sign because they want them to take first step... well for me .. i really don't know >.<" Are you showing sign to me to take first step? or Am I over thinking ? one thing for sure is i don't wanna lose you... I do wanna "look" at you while you "smiling"... I do wanna "entertain" you when you get "bore".. and I do wanna "be with" you....
...dun know ... some time i can sense it but sometime i really cant sense it .. *confusing* plz can you just make it clear .. oh >.<" kinda of suffering .. and the other night also i just tell how i feel to my bro from another father and mother .. and he tell me to choose ya also .. and i also want oh .. but dun know i just.... well i want but i just dun dare... =(
but i scare.. cuz i thought i not really "special" enough for you .... so i dun dare to go and... i in "relationship"... which mean .... if i meet you early you be my treasure.... but now also the same .. OK " i like you!!! " but how am i gonna say this out in outside!!!!!
i know you here .. and i wana talk to you.. wana glance ur smile .. wana look into ur bright eyes .. but couldnt make it ... something blocking my way ... may be cuz I know you are too damn good and i dare not to touch ur heart ... and afraid to pluck the flower which i cant get.. by using stool .. hmm...
“If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.”
Since that day i been dreaming about you for almost every night but when i asked you that have you ever dream about me too then you said "No"... so dreams are just sth that you cant never hold in your hand... sth that never stay for long and sth that fade away...
I dream of rainbow, bright in the sky
